Adventures in Babysitting

It is currently 9:52 pm.  Nina is finally getting a chance to eat some cold takeout.  Max?  He conked out a while ago.  And Lillian is amazingly asleep in her crib after one of most profound displays of two-year old energy we have ever seen.
And we love her as though she had been with us from her first moment.
Technically, we are not her parents.  We are babysitters.  Our agreement with the Chinese government is only for this night.  While we did sign the permanent adoption papers already, they do not become effective until tomorrow.
So here's how it all went.  We were ferried to a government office building for a 2 pm appointment.  We were 15 minutes early and expected to wait.  However, as we approached the office, we saw a sweet little girl in a blue and white dress and pink shoes sitting between two women sitting quietly drinking a box of milk.

 It was difficult to restrain ourselves from overwhelming her with affection, as we knew we needed to.  Our guide described the papers we were signing and served as our translator as we learned about her from the two orphanage staff who accompanied her.  We learned that she was smart, liked books and loved to dance - all things that we verified soon thereafter.

As the administrative chores took place, Max took on his new big brother role with aplomb.  He took out a pad of paper and box of crayons and showed Lillian how to draw.

 She was enthralled and sat happily dragging a pink crayon across many pages of the pad while Nina and I dragged a black pen across many pages, as well.
After about an hour, we departed as a family of four to our hotel and began to get to know each other.  Here are some things we learned.
1.  Lillian is a good eater.  To be clear, she was no emaciated waif to begin with.  She appears to be a hale and hearty little girl.  Our guide had touted us on a Chinese baby treat, so we filled a snack trap with those and another with goldfish.  She ate the Chinese treat continually for hours.  If one would drop to the floor, she knew to put it in the trash - or feed it to Mommy.  When the take out came into the room, she ate several dumplings and can handle a fork and spoon just fine,though she is unafraid to take matters into her own hands when necessary,

2.  Lillian is independent.  After Nina bathed her and put her in pajamas, we watched in amazement as she happened upon her socks, stopped, and put them on without any assistance.

3.  Lillian has A LOT of energy.  She walked up and down the length of the hotel room seemingly hundreds of times, ending up in the closet where she would drop whatever she was carrying in the slipper basket or handing a book or piece of coloring paper to me as I sat on a couch at the other side of the room.  Over and over again.

4.  Lillian is potty trained.  That's a nice feature.  We sat her on the toilet and she would pee.  We also learned that she has a signal to let us know when she needs to poo-poo.  Unfortunately, Nina did not know that was the sign while she was bathing her.  Nina thought she just wanted more water poured on her back.  So if your travel plans bring you to Nanjing, we do recommend you stay at the Mandarin Garden - however do not stay in Room 1006.
Most importantly, 5.  Lillian loves to laugh.  We heard a number of giggles, but Nina started to give her raspberries on her belly and that got the big laughs going.  It was the sweetest music we had ever heard.

I can't imagine the day going any better.  Of course, I didn't deal with the bathtub situation, so that's easy for me to say.  She did not cry.  At all.  She stayed in the mix with us the whole time, and in fact, could easily be considered the ring leader.  Now, she doesn't default to physical affection the way you expect from a child that's been with you since birth, but she'll learn and we'll all adjust.
And tomorrow, when the government officials sign the papers, the agreement that has already been made in our hearts will be made official.  Babysitters no more - parents.

New places and new beginnings

A two hour flight brought us to Nanjing and after a 40 minute van ride, we arrived at our hotel in the heart of the old city.  Nanjing was the capital of China prior to Beijing and the narrow streets and old style architecture reminded us each of our hometowns, the French Quarter and the North End.

We were charmed during a brief walk through the area to find provisions.  It was the sort of experience we had been waiting for.  As interesting as Beijing was, we weren't often able to wander around and just enjoy the sights and sounds - it was too big and urban, at least where we visited.

The hotel was quite a sight. The lobby is really beautiful with marble floors and a piano that appears to sit in a shallow pond.  An elaborate wedding party was taking place on the mezzanine overlooking the lobby.  We went to our room - which is a little more worn than the lobby would lead you to believe, but still more than adequate - and our guide had arranged for a crib to be brought in.

Dinner was at a nearby restaurant.  Our guide ordered for us before heading off.  We had a spicy beef dish, some braised cabbage that came to the table on a sterno burner and Max had dumplings.  My fantasy that perhaps I would lose a few pounds on this trip is being happily dashed.

This was the night view of the riverfront lights of Nanjing from our room.

Hopefully we will be able to continue to explore this interesting city - but first we have some businesses to attend to...in about four hours.  Stay tuned.

They'll let anyone in this place

Our third day and final day in Beijing was Saturday.  Our party began the day making the short drive to The Forbidden City.  For those of you who saw the film, "The Last Emperor," this is where it was filmed, not to mention where the actual events occurred.  It is a sprawling complex of houses and meeting areas that was open only to the Imperial Court; who in turn could not leave.

 There is an outer area which was used for official business and inner area where the Emperor's family lived.  There, we could look into several of the structures and see furniture and other relics.  Max braved a crush of tourists to get this picture of a throne.

 Here we are outside relieved to see Max again outside of this throne room.

Following the Forbidden City, we made the trip to the Temple of Heaven, where the Emperor would go twice a year to pray for a good harvest.  It is another impressive structure and is surrounded by beautiful grounds and provides some really lovely views of the city - or at least as lovely a view as the air quality will allow.  What is particularly impressive is that the entire temple was built without a single nail.  It is constructed of interlocking parts.

Inside, there are a number of pillars, four to symbolize the seasons and others that represent the constellations.

We enjoyed a late lunch in the neighborhood surrounding our hotel.  Max had some sweet and sour chicken that was remarkably similar to what we would get at home.  Nina and I shared some spicy beef that was cooked with some red chilis that were powerful - and delicious, and some fried dough and taro rolls that were very tasty.

Then we walked to the Silk Market, which is a huge five story building full of vendors.  It is quite a scene.  As you pass each store, the sales clerks are trying to get you in the door and if you stop for a second, they are on top of you for what you are going to buy.  Then, the bargaining process begins.  Max was able to take advantage of his years of watching "Pawn Stars" on TV to get a few deals.  Below is a picture of the drubbing I received while trying to buy a few souvenirs.  Calculators are used as the bargaining tool to bridge the language gap.   The low point was as I was getting out my credit card and she noticed the American dollars in my wallet and asked me to give her one.  I was so browbeaten by the process that I'm lucky she only saw the ones and not the twenties.

We were finally sufficiently acclimated to the time difference that we were able to stay up past dinnertime.  Max and I took the subway to the Night Market, which features dozens of food stalls - many of which sell some unique delicacies.   Max was freaked out by the still-living scorpions on a stick, waiting to be deep fried.  The scorpions were usually joined by sea horses and starfish.

However, he was pleased to find sodas with dry ice.

Currently, it is Sunday morning and we have finished packing for our flight to Nanjing.  We have had a wonderful time in Beijing, which is a remarkable place and we are very lucky to have had the opportunity to spend a few days here.  Perhaps the most noteworthy thing beyond the historical sites we visited is the Chinese commitment to beauty.  The freeways are lined with trees and many roads are lined by dozens of flower pots with blooming roses.  That is a nice way to help mask the insanity on the roads.  Cars, trucks, buses and vans, to say nothing of motor scooters and even bicycles are engaged in a motorized ballet of near-miss after near-miss.  The drivers know what they are doing - passengers might not even notice if they weren't looking.  But when you do look out of the window, you notice that the car in the lane next to you is about six inches away and a moped just switched lanes in front of you with  no one slowing down.   

We're off to the airport shortly.  The preliminaries are over.  More to come soon.

Ni Hao. Is there a cardiologist at the top?

Today we had our first guided tour.  We joined with another couple and hit the town in a comfortable van.  On our way to the Great Wall, we stopped at a Jade gallery and enjoyed seeing the process of making statues and jewelry for about 10 minutes before they turned us loose in the show room.  Some of the work is breathtaking.  There was a giant battleship that took three years to build and some tall floor vases that were truly gorgeous.  We were able to find a few gifts a little more appropriate to our budget.

Then, on to the Great Wall.  What else are you going to say?  It is one of the seven wonders of the world.  Okay - here's something you can say; it is steep.

Here's something else; it's a long way up.  But it's the Great Wall - you have to keep climbing.  And so we did and it is a lifetime memory.

Max, of course, zoomed up; leaving his parents well behind and yelling as best we could to wait up as we attempted to gather enough oxygen to yell.

 In fact, Nina did the yelling, while I did the panting.  Zumba has done a lot for her.

From there, we went to the Summer Palace, which is remarkable, as well.  It is a massive and beautiful lakeside retreat that was only for the use of the Empress Dowager Cexi and her family.  It's a lot of square footage for just a few folks.  We walked along the Long Corridor and took a motorized Dragon Boat back to the entrance.

After that, it was time for tea.  We were brought to a tea store and enjoyed a tea ceremony during which we sampled oolong, jasmine, peur and fruit tea from tiny little cups.

 Max was delighted by the Chinese Tea Ceremony version of a tchotchke - a statue of a naked baby boy that when you pour water over it, it sprays off the penis.  It was free with our purchase.

After a quick stop at our hotel, we went off for a hotpot dinner.  Each of us had a different broth into which we placed raw shrimp and thinly sliced fish along with dumplings and raw vegetables.  Quite good - particularly Nina's very spicy soup which gave the meat and vegetables a great flavor.

We had a plan for jet lag

We landed in Beijing at 0500 and were met by a guide and driver, who took us through morning traffic to the Jianguo Hotel.  After settling in, we decided to hit the hotel pool to refresh ourselves with hopes of making it through the entire day awake to get on schedule.

We had an early lunch near our hotel.  We shared dumplings.

 Max had noodle soup while Nina and I shared some spicy duck.

 The food was delicious.  The duck was presented beautifully including a part you don't usually get served in the U.S. - the head.  I took a few tentative bites and ultimately Nina went to work and called out "oh, the brains are good."

From lunch, we boarded the Beijing Subway, which is a pleasure to ride.  It is clean, fast and all announcements are also made in English.  We headed in search of the Lama Temple.  After a brief detour to nearby Di Tan Park,

we found the temple, which was amazing.  It is an active Buddhist Temple and we watched as several dozen monks walked through the grounds to a main pavillion where they sat and chanted prayers beneath a huge Buddha statue.  In a neighboring pavillion, an even larger Buddha stood 55 feet high, cut from a single piece of wood.

Following the temple, we took a quick stop at KFC for Max to get some refreshing ice cream and the sheer novelty of hitting KFC in Beijing.

We returned to the hotel around 1600 with the idea of taking a nap and then heading off to the night market. Well that's where the plans went a bit awry. We awoke around midnight and then managed to sleep for another few hours.  It is 0530 Friday now and we expect to be first in line for the hotel breakfast and fortify ourselves for the Great Wall.

Arrival

Just a quick note to let everyone know we've arrived in Beijing after a comfortable flight.  We wanted to thank Corrine for helping get Lillian's room organized before we left and Rupert for giving us a ride to LAX.   It is 8 am here and we are getting ready to do some sightseeing.

Thanks again, Corrine and Rupert!

Waiting to depart at LAX

Upon arrival in Beijing

Twenty Twenty Twenty Four Hours to go...I wanna be sedated

Technically, we're 26 hours before our flight is scheduled to depart.  However, the latter part of the lyric is valid.  But most of you knew that, already.

Before we depart, it occurs to me to share with you a little about Lillian's namesake - Lillian Friedman Epstein, better known by her grandchildren as Amma.

The daughter of Max and Genevieve (Jennie) Diftler Friedman was born in 1920 in Knoxville, Tennessee and she maintained her East Tennessee accent her entire life.  You haven't truly lived until you've heard Yiddish words spoken with a drawl.  The word "schmuck" became a two-syllable word coming from her - which it frequently did.

Lillian was frequently described with words like "character" and "pistol," to say nothing of "short," which she was.  As a young woman, she was a violinist.   She married Joe Epstein and gave birth to a son, Norman.  Joe was drafted into the Army during World War 2 (one of the first married fathers to be drafted) and Lillian had to raise her baby alone - albeit surrounded by her family.

When a business opportunity lured the family to New Orleans, Lillian, Joe and their now two children (my mother Judith came along after the war) made a new life for themselves in a new place.  And New Orleans became home.  Lillian was a gracious hostess and made friends quickly.  Soon, there were weekly card games and regular nights out.  A stylish dresser, she was well known to many of the women's clothiers in town.  And on one infamous trip to Europe taken with a friend, the two stole the all the shoes left outside hotel rooms to be polished late one night.  I never asked if they were returned.  She was keenly attuned to politics and was never shy with her opinions (hence the frequent use of the word schmuck).

I was the first grandchild.  As a toddler, the closest I could come to repeating "Grandma" was Amma and the name stuck for me, my sister and cousin Rachel.   And since I heard everyone else calling my grandfather, Joe, I did as well and the others followed.  Amma and Joe.  Their home was only about three miles from ours and it was fairly common when I walked in the door after school to see Amma and my mother sitting together at the kitchen table with other neighbors or friends. (along with a bottle of wine. Or two).   And a little while later, Joe's car would head up the driveway.  They were constant presences in our lives.

Weekends, we were often at their house.  They had a swimming pool and I can still hear Amma's shrill entreaties to DRY OFF BEFORE COMING IN THIS HOUSE.  Inevitably the TV was tuned to a sporting event and as the dutiful wife, she made sure the grandchildren waited for a break in the game before walking by.

One of my favorite memories of my grandmother is from my teen years.  My grandparents went out of town and I threw a pool party.  Upon their return, the busybody next door neighbor tried to bust me.  Amma's response? "Well good.  Why not have a party?"  And that sums her up.  She was fun loving and loved her family above all.  Nothing unique about that, but unique she was.

She loved the fact that I went into politics, as her beloved father Max was well known as a City Councilman and state Democratic Party leader.  She stayed sharp until her death and I would often call her on my commute home and talk about the Clintons and their enemies. She hated Republicans.  When I went to the voting booth in 1980 with my mother, we agreed that she would vote for Reagan and that Amma could NEVER know.  I was certain no one could hate someone as much as my grandmother hated Newt Gingrich.  But then George W. Bush came along.

And thankfully she lived long enough to meet Nina, attend our wedding and most importantly, meet her great grandson Max. We brought him to New Orleans when he was six months old.  On the day of our departure, she arrived with a cute outfit for him and told us about how she wanted him to have something special from her now that she had seen him in person.

I am so proud that a piece of her will live on through this new great granddaughter.  And the word schmuck coming from her mouth will be funny for different reasons - but funny nonetheless.